Summertime...

For the first time in what feels like forever- I have an actual summer. A summer that does not include working 24 hours a day 6 (okay, really, lets be honest it was often 7) days a week and that does not involve me living in some random place where I don't have any friends...

Because of this I have vowed that this summer WILL BE the BEST SUMMER EVER!!!! In honor of this Memorial Day Weekend- aka the official beginning of summer, I shall make a list of the amazing things that I plan to do this summer....

1. Be very very tan.

2. Picnic lunch in the park the VAST majority of days I have to work.

3. Go to many free(ish) concerts...

4. Go to Ravinia

5. Spend at least one Saturday at North Ave Beach

6. actually show up to people's weddings!! Crazy, I know.

7. Run a crazy (and slightly overwhelming, but still very exciting) tour of the East Coast for 50 foreign exchange students (plus finally get MYSELF to parts of the East Coast I've never been to...)

8. See the polar express in 3-d

9. Spend a week in Fort Fun hanging out with my favorite (almost) 7 year old (and some other favorites of mine!!)

10. Hang out in my backyard with my roommate (during the like 5 days that we are both actually going to be here) and my neighbors.

11. Bike a LOT.

12. Grill out.

13. Play in the rain!!

Oh summer... you make me so so glad.

Blasted Microwave...

Today I was defeated by a microwave.

And not just any microwave, but the microwave that has been the bane of my existence for the past 6 months.

You see, 6 months ago I got a new job at a very small company. I learned about week 2 of this new job that although it SEEMED like we had a microwave because there was physically a microwave in our little kitchenette- that microwave hadn't worked for months.

Over the course of the next few months I would ask from time to time if we could get it fixed or replace it and receive a half-hearted, non-response of "well, maybe we have to ask so and so"

Finally, at the end of February I asked the right person and we were given permission to get a microwave!! HURRAH! I then had to bug people for a few more days but finally a microwave was ordered off of good old Wal-Mart.com

a week later a microwave was shipped to us... a microwave that was dented. GRRRR

So, we were told to return the microwave, which worked perfectly even though it was slightly dented. After a bit of debate I decided to strategically place the microwave so you couldn't really see the dent and keep it.

This however, opened up a whole other can of worms with the original microwave- namely that we needed to get rid of it, but its a microwave and I try to care about my children's children and I therefore didn't want this particular microwave to end up in a landfill.

So I did what every normal 20-something would do- I google searched "electronic recycling Chicago" and then proceeded to call a million places who's phone numbers popped up and FINALLY after much research and time I discovered there was a place 1.5 miles from our office that CLAIMED they took microwaves.

So, today, I drove a borrowed car to work, loaded the microwave and drove, quite excited to be properly disposing of my microwave and to have that downer out of my life FOREVER. I pulled up to the recycling center and was greeted by a couple men who helped people unload and I very excitedly said "Just a little microwave!" as I put the car in park and got ready to get out to unload it. To this I was met with uncertainty and chatter among themselves and finally the answer "Um, its not on the list, we can't take microwaves." "what?" I said, "But I called the commisioner's office yesterday! They said you'd take it." again there was chatter and what-not. "I'm sorry miss, we can't take it here." "Well, what am I supposed to do with it then." To this the man responded "Just put it in your dumpster, in your regular garbage" I looked at him shocked, "BUT WHAT ABOUT OUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN?!" they laughed at me. And then when I didn't respond they just grinned and laughed again and pointed me to a dumpster across the parking lot.

I pulled up to the dumpster and as I got out of the car a different group of men sitting outside the original building started yelling at me that I couldn't use THAT dumpster... even though I'd just been told I should! I felt defeated. I laughed, because its what I do. But really, I just felt defeated.

I drove back to my office and called my co-worker. I made her come down and help me put our microwave into the dumpster. I drove away to park the car and I realized-

sometimes life is just hard.

sometimes I make life harder for myself than I need to.

sometimes its the frustrating things in life that make you laugh the hardest.

It's May...

It's May and something about my life right now feels funny.

I've been feeling restless and unsettled.

My credit card statement shows that I have suddenly become a connoiseur of fun summery dresses- buying them like its my job.

Lots of fun things have been happening and I'm enjoying life with some good new friends.

And yet still, its May and something about my life feels funny.

You see, for the first time in about 7 years- since I first left for college, its May and I'm not moving.

For the past 6 May's I've been packing and unpacking, in and out of dorms, churches, homes, cities, counties and states. I knew this day would come- but I never knew how funny it would feel when it all hit me- I'm not longer a transient. I have a home.

Ever the student of wanderlust and sucking the marrow out of life I have had some crazy and amazing adventures in my short adult life. I have lived in some awesome and WEIRD places and I have loved my life. But a year ago I made a decision to find home. to get involved in my community. to stop running and start investing.

And now its May and I'm not moving and something about my life feels funny.

For the first time in 7 years I'm not going to take a 3-month break from the people and events of my life. This is about the time of year where, in the past, I've told my friends that I'll still have my phone! We'll keep in touch- and then proceed to more or less fall off the face of the earth until August sometime. I'd take a break from reality and try another one on for size. I'd make some more new friends and get to use my same lame jokes on new people who haven't heard them 1000000000 times already.

And now its May and I'm not moving and I'm learning that the something that feels funny about my life is that this consistency- this lack of transiency, this bit of a beginning glimmer of home turns out to be harder than I thought it would be. I'm used to my running and my breaks and my time away to figure things out. Staying put and battling through is not so easy.

But, being that its May and I'm not moving and I've started to understand this funny feeling I've decided to embrace it. To embrace life as I know it now and to see the grand adventure that is building a life and a home.

Here's to May and finally not moving...

I'm no superman...

Sometimes I start to think I've got my stuff together- I start to feel like maybe I can handle being a grown-up and living in my neighborhood and serving the people around me well and that I can do it all on my own....

and then things like spiders happen.

This past weekend was great- I spent time helping a friend fix-up her house, had dinner with some people and was able to work out some things for some volunteer opportunities I'm pretty involved with at church. I talked with new friends and old friends and even got to spend a few hours on Sunday relaxing. The past few weeks have all been much like that- pretty full- but good, life here in Chicago is starting to make a lot more sense which is great.

**Jacqueline Dunn you MAY want to skip this next part

Sunday night I was getting some laundry done down in the basement- I'd just thrown a load from the washer into the dryer and started a new load in the washer when I looked back over to the dryer and noticed the BIGGEST SPIDER I have EVER SEEN. I freaked out. I was barefoot and was surrounded by soft clothes- NO WAY was I killing a spider this huge with clothes. Finally it clicked that I could use the bleach bottle that was in my hand so I smushed the creepy crawly thing, grabbed my laundry basket and ran up 2 flights of stairs to my room and hid in my bed.

yes. That is not a joke. I hid in my bed. From the spider I smushed. (okay, not the spider I smushed, he was dead- but from his friends who would obviously have to see his dead carcass and come after me. In case you weren't aware, spiders are a very vengeful kind). After hiding in my bed for a few minutes I realized that leaving a smushed spider on the wall below our dryer for someone else to find probably was not kind- however, there was NO way you were getting me back in the basement so I called my neighbor and said "Um, I'm sorry, I did something bad. I killed a spider and left its guts on the wall and now I'm hiding. Don't judge me." And thankfully she loves me and she laughed at me and told me not to worry that spiders don't climb so they'd all stay in the basement (oh lies). I ended up sitting in my bed hiding and reading attempting to forget the spider encounter so I wouldn't feel like creepy crawlies were all over me and finally fell asleep around 1am.

This story is ridiculous. But completely true.

I was feeling pretty good on Sunday- feeling like I had it all together and like I didn't need anyone's help. I was getting a little proud, you know? Proud that I can handle life and budgeting and paying bills all on my own. Proud that I do all my own laundry and show up to work on time and that I FOUND a job. And that pride needed a little reminder- I'm not doing it all on my own and I better stop trying.

We are meant to live in community- to live with others, whether literally in a house with others, or in conversation and caring with others. I need someone to love me and clean up the smushed spiders in my life. As much as community is hard and causes some frustration and growing pains as you figure out how to adapt to new people- its an imperative. So, thank you to my lovely neighbor for saving my life. and thank you to all my friends and family who keep me sane and humble. and (gross, I can't believe I'm typing this) thank you to the spider for the reminder that I can't do this all on my own.