It's gonna get easier

I feel like I am at such a strange point in life... and maybe because of the ways I choose to live life this strange point will someday be realized as just the norm for me- but I kind of hope that isn't true. It feels to me that I've been transient for far too long. I feel like I've spent the last several years never physically out on the streets, homeless, but without a real permanent address... barely even with a semi-permanent one! A week or two ago I started thinking realistically about what I'm going to be doing this summer... and what that means for my life as a whole. I really do love the summer with YouthWorks- I love all of the people, the organized chaos, youth, serving, teaching others about the God I feel so blessed to serve... but it means I have to leave the life I feel like I am just finally beginning to build behind.
I have really enjoyed getting involved at River City- the church I found in my neighborhood. I show up on Sundays and actually see familiar faces. Its such a beautiful thing! I am involved in a small group and help with the kids program and a couple other ministries. Its hard for me to realize I have to put those all on the back burner for the summer... that I will leave, and life will go on and I'll come back and have to jump back in. I have a real hope that next fall will be much easier to jump back in, but there is still this feeling that Chicago is still not my home. I wish that it was... and I hope that in the next few years it will be, but right now, I'm just waiting.
There's this song by Joe Purdy that makes me think of the way I feel about life these days-
is it gonna get easier
is it gonna get tough
are the waters gonna open wider
or are they gonna get rough
are we gonna have to sink right now
are we gonna get to paint this town
deep blue and green, the colors of her eyes lookin at me
early in the morning

Will it ever get easier? Or is living this life only going to get harder the longer I do it?