Today was like a day long "packing up" attitude. I didn't identify it until too late in the day, but with my new job starting tomorrow, today was full of tying up loose ends and attempting to prepare myself to go back into the world of being busy. While I didn't have to actually physically pack anything and make choices about what clothes, shoes and books I would be taking with me on the new journey- I did have to come to terms with all of the unknown that awaits me. I realized as I was driving to the airport to pick up my roommate, I am nervous. I've always been able to find ways and things about my jobs that I really like, whether that be working in the dorms, working in medical records or my time at Youthworks- I generally found ways to have fun, enjoy my work and be good at what I was doing. Last year was the first time that I struggled with that. I didn't just naturally excel at my position... and I didn't enjoy or look forward to going into the office. I'm afraid of that happening again. While the humbling experience of not being the best Area Director ever has taught me a lot- I don't want to fail again, I want to have fun and I want to be content.
Its amazing to me how cool in theory I can be with the unknown, yet when you put it right in front of my face, I freak out. Little things cause me so much stress- I've honestly spent hours thinking about what I'm going to wear tomorrow (as the dress code has simply been stated as "we're really casual, you don't need to dress business professional"... I need more than that people!!). I know one week from now I'll have started to settle into a groove and figure out how to accomplish all the tasks that I previously alloted for my daytime activities, but today, I'm just nervous about it all.
I guess all of this really just goes to say- today was proof you should still avoid me when I'm packing...
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