I'm no superman...

Sometimes I start to think I've got my stuff together- I start to feel like maybe I can handle being a grown-up and living in my neighborhood and serving the people around me well and that I can do it all on my own....

and then things like spiders happen.

This past weekend was great- I spent time helping a friend fix-up her house, had dinner with some people and was able to work out some things for some volunteer opportunities I'm pretty involved with at church. I talked with new friends and old friends and even got to spend a few hours on Sunday relaxing. The past few weeks have all been much like that- pretty full- but good, life here in Chicago is starting to make a lot more sense which is great.

**Jacqueline Dunn you MAY want to skip this next part

Sunday night I was getting some laundry done down in the basement- I'd just thrown a load from the washer into the dryer and started a new load in the washer when I looked back over to the dryer and noticed the BIGGEST SPIDER I have EVER SEEN. I freaked out. I was barefoot and was surrounded by soft clothes- NO WAY was I killing a spider this huge with clothes. Finally it clicked that I could use the bleach bottle that was in my hand so I smushed the creepy crawly thing, grabbed my laundry basket and ran up 2 flights of stairs to my room and hid in my bed.

yes. That is not a joke. I hid in my bed. From the spider I smushed. (okay, not the spider I smushed, he was dead- but from his friends who would obviously have to see his dead carcass and come after me. In case you weren't aware, spiders are a very vengeful kind). After hiding in my bed for a few minutes I realized that leaving a smushed spider on the wall below our dryer for someone else to find probably was not kind- however, there was NO way you were getting me back in the basement so I called my neighbor and said "Um, I'm sorry, I did something bad. I killed a spider and left its guts on the wall and now I'm hiding. Don't judge me." And thankfully she loves me and she laughed at me and told me not to worry that spiders don't climb so they'd all stay in the basement (oh lies). I ended up sitting in my bed hiding and reading attempting to forget the spider encounter so I wouldn't feel like creepy crawlies were all over me and finally fell asleep around 1am.

This story is ridiculous. But completely true.

I was feeling pretty good on Sunday- feeling like I had it all together and like I didn't need anyone's help. I was getting a little proud, you know? Proud that I can handle life and budgeting and paying bills all on my own. Proud that I do all my own laundry and show up to work on time and that I FOUND a job. And that pride needed a little reminder- I'm not doing it all on my own and I better stop trying.

We are meant to live in community- to live with others, whether literally in a house with others, or in conversation and caring with others. I need someone to love me and clean up the smushed spiders in my life. As much as community is hard and causes some frustration and growing pains as you figure out how to adapt to new people- its an imperative. So, thank you to my lovely neighbor for saving my life. and thank you to all my friends and family who keep me sane and humble. and (gross, I can't believe I'm typing this) thank you to the spider for the reminder that I can't do this all on my own.